Operation - Conserve, consolidate

Times are not good.. Oil(gas) prices are fluctuating.. people are loosing their jobs.. housing market is good @ some cities really bad @ others.. the dominoes effect is taking a big hit and the whole socio-economic-balance is crumbling.. tumbling.. hmmm!! dwindling... the best way to deal with this pandemonium is conserve, consolidate, recycle.. I am sure we all know this.. how many of us are really effectively doing it.. just a reminder to take it onto ourselves to be responsible civilians.. stay put.. sit tight.. and help people who are really in need.. this phase will pass too.. it better be soon.. let the cheery spirit of the holidays elope the damp circumstances that the system has put us thru.. playing the blame game is the easy part.. correcting it and prancing ahead is the call of the hour..

Reasoning!!

Why I am what I am?? I am sure we all ask ourselves this question.. some say - me? - I am intuitive.. some say - me? I am analytical.. some say - me? I am a good presentor, I organize my thots beautifully.. some say - me? am good with numbers... how do we know? heres what I found:
you must have heard several times about people being right brained or left brained.. people who use their rite brain more than the left are more intuitive and creative.. and will defnitely do good @ performing arts since they have added advantage to their artistic skill.. cos it comes naturally to them.. but did u know theres true meaning in the saying - 'u shud hone your skill' meaning rite brained skills have to be exercised inorder to make use of their full potential..
heres my question - y is it that my Guruji believes people good in mathematics are good in music.. here lies the 'tip of the iceberg' - this completely contradicts what I just wrote..
now people using more of the left brain are analytical and really have a tough time writing up an essay.. they are usually direct in their approach towards solution to a problem... they do well in an academic setting which necessitates convergence of thot processes.. o!!! did you know 'numerology' is a branch of mathematics related to number theory, which also helps describe a persona?? wow!!!
theres so much knowledge out there.. its interesting to know every number from 1-9 has a personality of its own.. arent u curious to know which number best describes u? I havent found mine yet..
I know I dig music.. but can I hammer the nail? - precisely!!!!
I love routine but the sooner I get a hang of it I crave for a change.. tough one!!

Whats mine? - A reminder

Complains complains.. I aint got this I aint got that.. guess no one really appreciates what they got
heres what I think I got :
Support from The LORD,
self respect,
self esteem,
confidence,
appreciation for my talent,
Blessings from my elders,
Love from my contemporaries and kids,
A roof above my head,
Every morsel of grain that I can afford to consume,
Clothes to cover me be it summer,winter,
My kid,
My Parents,
My Family,
My friends,
Still have a job :),
The canopy of love from all who knows me and love me,
a sound mind and body,
Guess I am the richest person on earth ..
and this is just the list from a moments thot..
if I spend a whole day calculating what I got - its unaccountable.. its just precious..

Mixture of Opposites

wow!!!
Flabbergasted.. yup!!! thats me.. u guessed it right.. in the midst of too many opposites.. once I suggest 'optimism' .. then again its - 'realism'... the next time I suggest 'patience'.. the very next moment I suggest - 'protest' and 'stand your ground'.. then again - 'be a little mellow'.. 'understand the situation.. maybe its not as bad as it seems'.. theres a whirl of activities encircling me .. I am a mere onlooker.. judging from a distance and yes I do get involved... and yet all these people very close to my heart.. have a definite say in my personal life.. yet am pulled by emotional tugging... long time ago - I had a dawning of being a counsellor someday.. now I feel that wud have been really foolish.. its a daunting job.. your personal experiences affect in judging any particular instance or situation.. it isnt easy just being plain perceptive... I rather am safe hiding behind a computer/laptop playing with data.. playing it safe... every situation related to every individual is perceived differently.. and the whole game of decision making and judging is based off of that.. amazing and at times frustrating yet there cant possibly be one conclusion..

confused arent u.. so am I..

Figment of My Imagination

was wiling away my time in cyberspace
felt gr8 to get back in touch with old frnds and keep in touch with newer ones
enroute was stopped short by a breath of fresh air
who barely just rejuvinated the lost engrained feelings
negated my current toughened core
tried to reach deep within to excavate the real me?
who am I
I feel so lost
do I have a purer core somewhere deep down?
I cant even begin to think.. maybe its just her/his illusion..
this fight between the real world and unreal has left me heavily spent upon practicality to romanticism
noone really appreciates the fact that its really tough to slide back and forth between the 2

The Time is Right - NOW

Of late havent been able to get myself to jot down on these virtual pages.. why? well!!! carrying too much of emotional backlog?? maybe!!!
life is so simple... wonder why we make it oh!!! so complicated.. u can just feel the pulse of the person next to you yet cant reach out to help him /her out .. cos of what u might get urself into??
days pass.. months pass.. even years pass before we realize what we have lost.. its a tough call!!!
I know someone suffering from neurodegenerative autoimmune disease.. meaning where the body stops producing the myelin sheath around the nerve endings.. meaning in lay mans terms ur whole body becomes dysfunctional gradually cos u cant feel anything.. consider the plight of the person who knows about this terminal illness.. so far I dont believe theres any cure.. yet I have seen this person who can just move his/her neck and upwards.. cant do anything by himself/herself without assistance.. yet the liveliness from her/his shoulder and face brightens up ur day.. her/his struggle with life every instance forces u to see the brighter side of every odd situation/circumstances.. yes he/she still lives with the disease for 20 odd yrs and breathing life every moment .. maybe she/he finds a greater meaning to life than we with every part of our body functional dont see ... hats off!!!
dont wait for a sunny day.. if u have someones good will @ heart reach out to him/her now.. cos we all are clueless 'if tomorrow comes'

The story about me

How did I get so impatient? Growing up heard Ma mention several times - 'gosh!!! u were a hand full.. running around.. all the time'.. I am sure she had a tough time keeping up with me.. my grandma had given up long ago.. I was always so full of energy.. started talking quiet late.. guess I was busy looking for trouble just being plain naughty.. unending source of 'energy'.. my school friends rightfully named me so.. then again - tube-light.. took me a while to understand what was the topic of discussion(well blame it on my wavering mind).. not any more though.. that maturity came with time.. then suddenly around 10 I turned into the quite,shy girl always with a smile on her face.. steeped in a story book.. the plethora of interest those crispy pages arose in me was unsurmountable.. clubbed in with studies, I was the serious,studious girl that everyone loved.. then came college - once again.. the nice next door girl stamp continued on.. completed higher education and ready to start married life.. continued as the same shy girl.. who wouldnt talk unless she was talked to.. what happened after that changed me into a completely hyper, tank full of energy once again.. in itself is an interesting observation... was I just hiding away in a shell? afraid to get out there and face the world.. too guarded by my guardians.. too protected to convert myself to a go getter? anyways
thats the past.. now its altogether a different story.. if only I could just check the anxiety that arises with it.. I am cool..
keep reading me.. maybe someday someone can explain 'Moi'

My Ma Baba

My strength .. my inspiration.. my source of encouragement.. my energy..
My Dad - very lively.. always smiling.. 1 ounce of sorrows and he scoots out of there.. I cudnt believe ven tragedy hit me he cudnt talk to me for a whole month.. he cudnt look at me eye to eye.. kept running away from me.. 'my daughter is in pain'.. he was clueless how he cud handle that.. always pushed Ma to take care of it.. he is not an escapist.. just cant see anyone in pain.. his principle in life.. be positive and optimistic and life will take care of itself.. everyones a frnd be it a kid or an elderly... very witty... guess I get mine from his..
My Ma - pillar of strength.. multifaceted.. multitalented.. widespread knowledge from A - Z.. always there for me and my sis.. encouraging.. cautioning.. mix and match of barvery, talent, it wud rather be easier for me to count what she doesnt know :).. very perceptive.. a strong shoulder to lean on..

I am Blessed.

Rushing thru life

Of late I get the feeling that I am running out of time.. have I taken up too much and cant handle it?? stressed out maybe.. Lord knows.. am always in a rush to finish this .. then move on to that.. I am indeed running out of time... anxious.. hmmm!!!! seems like everyone else has a long life to live but me... it cud be 'cos I lost 7 prime years of my life doing basically very little.. its hard to think back about those days .. me being a person 'always on the go'.. how cud I just sit back and watch me waste so much time.. boy!!!! I am catching up left and right.. person with relator characteristics will take me to be a heartless person... but they fail to realize my problem - 'am so rushed'.. wish I cud slow down a little at times.. I blabber.. talk in a hurry .. and leave an emotional person hurt.. although that wasnt the intention.. not many people read between the lines to capture the deeper emotions.. maybe some day soon I will get a hold of myself and help me downsize my tempo .. till then - 'gotto go'

Occasional Blogger

Yup!!!! blogging encompasses updating blog every once in a while... and I have not been true to that fact.. ya!!!! u guessed it right .. have been very busy - summers here and the length and breadth of summertime activities have tripled... at times I find myself running from pillar to post... no respite.. but am glad I am busy.. 'cos dont know how people spend weeks in front of the idiot box without being physically active.. u set a good example for your kids by staying productively active... this time of the year is your chance to try out several activities - sports, swimming, the music and performance and u name it.. ven u r tired in a true sense at the end of the day u feel satisfied and sleep like a log.. minimizing your worries.. this is your chance to take small trips during weekends, explore the outdoors.. oh!!! how relaxing and refreshing that feeling is..

have a joyful and fun summer.

back one day - its nothing but yesterday :)

Slogging at work today and thinking wow!!! what was I upto yesterday around this time.. it was a saturday so was at a party.. no doubt!!! sitting here right now with my bespectacled face staring blankly at the computer screen and wishing.. gosh!!! it was yesterday.. I was enjoying my family's company with friends.. relishing the food and listening to good music, recitation, jokes and you name it.. no worries whatsoever.. and now dont have a clue ven I will get back home to my comfy bed and shrug my worries and rest once and for all.. has been a very long weekend.. intertwined with parties and work.. work and play dont mingle.. so true... isnt it? bored!!!!!

Husband Material

Saw this bumper sticker the other day and smiled knowingly - 'Husband and Dog missing.. reward for the dog'.. well no offence.. but coming from where I am its just your destiny who you end up with... its not a list of how he should be but his characteristic definitely encompasses some basic requirements.. and those are very unique to each persons taste.. mostly all ladies will agree with me ven I say - we want our husbands to be - understanding,loving,caring and broad minded.. rest are icing to the cake..

Faith in myself

Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it.
Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it.
Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it.

-Martin Luther King Jr.

Being precarious is always helpful.. but sometimes it just blocks a free spirit.. u must have faith in yourself to circumvent impediments... humility and trust to mark your way... as u tread thru unknown and sometimes unpleasant territories...

New Baby :-)

Felt terribly wonderful to see a newborn after ages.. revisited the hospital hallways to pay a visit to a new life(bundle of joy).. life brings with it new hopes and potentials for greatness.. charming and cheery indeed.. it also brings added responsibilities for the new parent particularly for the first time parents.. I am nostalgic of my days of glory and fame as a first time parent .. spending anxious days in and around the nursery just to catch a glimpse of the twinkle of my eyes.. she came 4 weeks before the due date and had to spend 10 days in the nursery.. her small and fragile little body lacking baby fat bore the pains of jaundice giving me sleepless nites.. cant forget the first time I held her.. my flesh and blood :)).. the joy, the happiness of becoming a mother.. o!!!! how beautiful that feeling is.. lookwise she resembled her Dad right from the start.. but she has my hair, straight and dark and maybe the smile :) and its tough to believe that someday she will be on her own..

Revisiting Love and Relationship

I am baised regarding this issue since my practicality overshadows the emotions attached to love sometimes(NOT ALWAYS mind you).. love(in terms of adult relations) is basically an attraction for the opposite sex... in this world of widespread technology and scientific researches - is it safe to deduce that love is a sort of chemical imbalance brought about by letting loose your passionate desires??? hmmm!!!
well!!!! I dont believe in love at first site... maybe thats why this is how I feel.. you got to know a person in order to fall for him/her.. or maybe with age and life's experiences my deductions are a little skewed :).. ask this from a teenager or a young adult and he/she will have a completely different opinion... people in love say - 'just let go, let it take its course'.. but how can one do that? when you have a brain to think straight you cant let go... you cannot be mindless.. but thats exactly what love will proabably make you do.. anyways.. I seem to be talking in circles.. no wonder.. I am clueless.. ;)

Has been a while :)

I have been itching to write.. but cant decide what topic to discuss... anyways going thru a cycle... happy sad happy sad happy... has been like this for a while now.. somedays are awesome.. feeling happy for what I have and somedays its a drag.. cant wait for the day to get over... theres always a spark for a change thats welcome.. and then it goes off in a few seconds.. what is life? how should one feel going about it? whats our basic purpose here? why is it that there are people who struggle all their life, personally, professionally and there are some who dont have a whiff of sorrow .. some have it easy and for some its a bed of thorns... the Hindu religion believes in rebirth and how your past life/lives can affect your present.. being an educated person - is it worth believing .. how can we know for sure the absolute truth... who is God? I pray.. probably you do to... I pray for strength for health and for my family and friends.. but Who is listening? its only when I see a support, an indication from Him in certain act through Human or maybe even nature that my belief doubles.. there is a SuperPower.. He/She is all encompassing.. His is the final verdict.. so live life with humility, live life sincerely, love - live and let live..

Life is too short - cherish it while u still can

Life is too short to muse about what we dont have..
Life is too short to look back again and again and waste precious moments that is 'now'..
Life is too short to contemplate revenge..
Life is too short to not count your Blessings..
Life is too short to complain, complain and complain..
Life is too short - you will be history before anyone realizes or appreciates the real you..
Life is too short - if not for anyone else live it for yourself..
Life is too short to loose family and good friends..
Life is too short - noones perfect.. quit being idealistic..
Life is too short - to err is human.. get over it and move on..
Been there.. seen that..
no matter how a person is.. u will always miss him/her for all the good moments that you shared..

Adults Misunderstand and kids fight it out :-)

haha!!!! the thought - 'u are mean'..'u hurt my feelings'.. 'I hate u'.. 'I never wanna play with u again'.. 'Ana is my best friend from today.. not you'.. thats how a child reacts when cornered with hurt feelings.. they bear the load of grudge, revenge, jealousy, etc.. well they are innocent.. and they fight it out.. and after a while its out of their system... tomorrow you might see them playing together again..
Now adults deal with it differently.. some talk it out.. clear the misunderstanding.. some bear the grudge and stop communicating absolutely.. might take revenge later..some just dont take it on to themselves to do anything.. might just ignore it.. and some stress themselves out.. wow!!! what a difference.. what changes during the intervention from childhood to adulthood is interesting..

Relations and Marriage

Yup!!!!! analyzed some and have researched it enough thru mental processes and experiences to form a conclusion that even though it might not be obvious to the outside world.. there exists an 'equation', a 'balancing factor' in every relation, every lasting marriage.. so as an outsider commenting about the bond itself would be really foolish.. all thru the day going thru different pulses and sometimes radiant thoughts and frustrations and hit and misses - it might appear alls lost.. but everything is in the mind.. its all a mind game.. its easy to put 2 and 2 and form an opinion... but its only an opinion.. not the actual fact.. so sometimes its good to keep your opinion to yourself..

Surprise!!!!! Surprise!!!!

Whats with women and surprises? The bubble of excitement within waiting to pop out.. the element that adds humor and twist to anyones day... surprise at seeing someone after a long time.. the surprise of giving a gift to a loved one bought /purchased without his/her knowledge... goes with the flow ven it is done in good taste in line with a persons expectations... what if he/she doesnt like it..

nontheless surprise is a taking unaware... wallow in it whoever it comes from.. definitely not from a stranger I hope :).. that will be so weird

Gloomy Cloudy oh!!! So Rainy Day

Pitter patter rain drops..
all day long..
ya!! ya!! we need rain..
but for the whole day..
cant bear the sky weeping so much..
it somehow relates to how you start feeling within... sad.. gloomy.. just plain bogged down.. just 'cos the Heavens cant stop crying...
accumulation of people's sin filtering down to the earth in the form of water droplets... makes u agitated and restless.. o!!!! stop please stop.. we had enough for one day for crying out loud..
what will it bring the next day.. maybe a green sapling.. maybe a fresh breath of air.. something new and unusual.. new hopes .. new aspirations... new desires..

yet to see that..

Site seeing - Rajasthan, India

Long long time ago.. when I was a kid :)... my Dad took us to several tours... one of them being Rajasthan.. am being constantly reminded of those golden moments of the feel of the sand, wind and dry parched Rajasthan climate... it was during the month of october... what amazed me most was the sand dunes.. the shifting sand creating 'patterns in motion' on the face of earth.. what amazing beauty, and how gracefully the camels make it seem so easy to walk in sand and vast stretches of it.. where the eye leads you ... 'all you see, is a sea of sand'.. sure.. why not.. I dont live there... what if I had to live there? in the sandy Thar desert of Rajasthan... got nostalgic about those moments since our conversation @ lunch with colleagues.. The beautiful city of Udaipur, Jodhpur, Jaipur.... right in the middle of the Rajasthani people steeped in poverty is the utmost luxurious 'palace on wheels' a paradise offered for foreigners... the stark blend of poverty with filthy rich... food for thought...

Writing

My God!!!! what nonsense I write.. have been asking my friends to read it and send their feedbacks on this ???? gosh!!! looks like i have lost it :).. used to write long long time ago.. waking up early in the morning.. freshness of dawn just filtered pure thoughts in to my mind... and then the pen wud just follow the thoughts...

The weekend trip..

Was long awaited and wonderful... felt really good to get back with old friends and chat to my hearts content about the bygone days.. exchange notes on what has changed since then... was good to c all the kids too.. had a blast at the party.. although the host was a new family in town.. a crude realization dawned that nothing is really my own.. its a stop in my journey thru life... its disappointing.. u see some... u feel some.. as u move, things change around u .. yet the lasting feeling of togetherness, of friendship, of relationship is what binds u to this world.. no material possession can ever suffice ur inner being - the Soul..

Its the seasons 1st snow

Thats the picture taken right outside my home.. doesnt look like a lot does it.. Finally its here.. Boy!!!! tomorrows gonna b a snow day.. You wanna bet? Woke up early morning to see all the snow melt away and 'bang' back to reality.. v r going to school.. my daughter woke up cranky... and as for me - cant miss work since its not a snow day... it snowed for a couple of hours yesterday.. yet during the early hour commute.. zilch!!! niente'!!!! its all gone.. talk about global warming... the only consolation for kids .. they get to keep the President's Day holiday for february..:).. well about holidays - 'the more the merrier'.. lets c how tomorrow looks.. it better not spoil our weekend trip :)

almost middle of jan 2008

Looking forward to next weeks trip to visit my old friends. O!!! the picture was taken at Opryland hotel in Nashville on Christmas Day. Boy!!!! they spend loads of money and time in decorating that hotel. We were awestruck at the beautiful site

After a long Time - Happy New Year 2008

Start of a New Year.. yet another New beginning.. new resolutions... promises made to break...:) not really.. no more real promises.. just living from day to day.. lets see how the year rolls out... had a wonderful xmas eve and New yrs eve party to mark our exit from 2007... why the happy feeling of leaving the past and stepping into the unknown present.. making history as we shift thru time.. what new surprises await at my doorstep... gosh!!!! the free feeling to enjoy every moment thats mine...