Sorry!!

My heart feels heavy.
I think I cried.
I am feeling sorry.
Dont know why.

Just some phases in life I dont wanna revisit.
Yet life brings it right back @ my feet.
I know I will cry.
Shed tears and say Goodbye.

Its too complicated.
I know it is.
But I have decided I wont submit myself to grief.

Not for me not for anyone else.

Habit - thot for 2day

Adat se majboor.. adat ke ghulam ban mat bande!!!
gar zindagi ki suraj doobne ko ho.. To Khud!! ko adat bana bande!!

Heck!!! another 1 minuter from me :)

Jaun kahan bata ei dil

Sasural Genda Phool

The song by me. sorry just a min of recording.. Crappy audio mid software brings up registration error. Enjoy!

Sasural Genda Phool

Lost in the Crowd

Not one day goes by ven I dont checkout all my Smokey Mountain Trip Pics. Why? Well!! it was a reunion with my high school friends. And definitely different from any trip possible.. People!! I am talking about old school friends here. What comes to mind? Unlimited masti, fun.. cause you know these guys from a pretty early age whence circumstances were gradually building around you to throw you into the wide wide world of jobs, responsibilities, family and you know wxatly what I mean.. but @ that time everything cud wait cause u werent yet a graduate.. all those numerous gettogethers, bday celebrations, annual functions, welcome and farewell parties and picnics you organized with these same friends.. and you get to meet them once again in different situation as responsible adults, with jobs and families.. everyone has had their share of experiences - some good and some not so good... but heck!!! its a reunion.. so who cares about the rough patches in life.. we met, we drove, we chatted, we laughed, we cooked together, we went rafting, we went site-seeing, we got drunk, we had the most fun ever possible.. when something like this comes along - you arise with a new energy to face the big bad world once again - rejuvinated.. we hope to meet again.. someday.. cirsumstances mite change.. but we carry with ourselves the ultimate joyous memory of being in company of OLD friends who so long were lost in the crowd.

Dear

Why am I a Dear?
I am merely a human here.

my goals arent that clear
about luck,love,life or career.

my mind sets the barrier
I think had enough of this 'er'

Time to go grab a beer!!
Only if it tickled my taste bud.
Rather fall from a rooftop with a 'Thud'

reminds me of great tasting wine
Today I forgot to dine

weird rhyming attack of mine
cant stop .. so I guess its fine

Where am I going with this? O Lord Divine!
Better stop now before I get stuck on another line..

phew!! Boy!! did I struggle with that
Yet another feather in my hat??

Doing Nothing!

Has it ever happened to u? all day maybe sitting around doing nothing.. ya!! sometimes I do that.. and then feel terribly guilty that I was unproductive.. but ven I get in that lazy state of mind.. theres no stopping me.. eat just anything stashed in the pantry or the freezer.. watching just about anything on TV.. in my case.. its endless disney channel.. whawck!!!!! had enough.. cant take it.. 'lifes what u make it' with Hannah...Wizards of Waverly places.. and Suite life of Zack on Cody.. how many of them did I see? Dont ask.. i forgot counting right between Hannahs song and Zack goofishness..

The distance between new and old HOME

Just got back from India - we feel excited about our trip and exclaim - 'ami deshe jachchi' - a jargon alrite!! the right expression for this wud be 'am going to India'.. yet in Bengali 'Desh' means a country u r a citizen of. Its a misnomer for many of us who are either US citizens.. or a resident of US by choice.. for me Kolkata happens to be my 'Desh' right now cause my family resides there.. but thats not exactly my hometown since I was born and brought up in Rourkela, Orissa..

anyways had a relaxing vacation back with my family..
I am sitting with a cup of tea which doesnt taste the same.. whats missing?
the thot of cooking is painful cause I know its no match to my Ma's cooking or the lady who cooks for us everyday back home..
I am missing the round table 'adda' over tea and cookies(biscuit) as simple as Marie ..
the wait every weekday for my sis to head home after work so we cud chat our heads out..
the shopping a highlight of every Kolkata homecoming event - bargaining coaxing and cajoling to bring down the prices shamelessly with the street vendors @ Gariahaat and even New Market.. the spirit.. the life.. the streetside phuchka, egg roll, the chaat, of late the onslaught of KFCs and Pizza hut with Indianised pizza and fried chicken..
its a love hate relation which coexist and is really charming..
the hot and humid weather - u cant imagine staying in the same clothes all thru the day.. yet everyone walks out the door in tiptop shape and outfit.. of course with a large hanky.. the crowd in each bus stop.. the push and shove to make it to the bus door..
the walking on the pavement in pairs of new and not so new love.. almost every 'single' human being has a love life..
as u ride the bus or taxi or auto to your destination u will notice the roads lined with buildings of all kinds.. some falling to pieces.. and some brand new stanidng proud right beside the one suffering the effects of time..
a mix and match of old and new.. for example.. theres a Grand Hotel museum - which is the old version of the brand New Grand hotel..
its amazing..
every traffic signal you will be horrified @ the host of beggars .. yet they r asking alms of people riding in mercedes, BMW, and all kinds of cool car.. this coexistance in almost equal proportion is mind boggling..
Kolkata amazes me? why? I call it my home now.. sometimes I dont know what to think of this city.. yet I feel drawn.. IT companies cropping up like mushrooms.. yet slum areas almost outnumber any other city in India..
now my new home is US though.. I came back and almost jumped back to normal life without much difficulty.. everything is so organized and running in schedule here.. heres how.. last time I went to India - I lost my baggage which showed up 2 weeks after.. while here too I lost my baggage and it showed up the next day I landed here.. I dont know what to think.. its all too confusing..
what a mess yet interesting place my vacation home is!!