'Go - together like a horse and carriage' - Lord knows why I am reminded of this title song from one of the sitcoms - 'Married With Children' on ABC channel. Almost right after I landed in this country and after a couple of years of staying glued to the computer and learning the tricks of the trade.. I was bored.. so started watching these series telecasted in the afternoon - The Nanny, Married with children and such.
Trying to take a direct hit from an onlookers angle here.
Possible permutations: -
1) YOu fall in love and marry and then you think - what a bummer? infatuation? maybe! not always though.. likelihood of this one being a keeper ;) are more..
2) YOu marry then you fall in love - maybe!
3) YOu marry, lifelong unable to love the person you are married to
4) YOu love someone, but marry someone else cause of societal or family pressures
- heartache!!
What does staying married mean to people?
1) Security?
2) Someone by your side to care for you 24/7 no matter what... you would think?
3) How much of love plays a role in marriage?
4) You stick together for the sake of children coming out of that marriage
5) If not for anything else - its just because ------------
famous saying in hindi - 'shaadi hai delhi ke laddo' - 'jo khaye wo pachtaye .. jo na khaye wo bhi pachtaye'..
It completely contradicts the saying - marriage and love goes together like a horse and carriage - Ironically tied/bonded to the carriage.
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8 comments:
Wow! Deep thoughts here.
Need to think hard before commenting.
Sitcoms are hardly the best resource for gaining marital wisdom (in my opinion)
All the permutations you stated are plausible but you did not factor in the possibility of evolving people e.g. even though there could be an initial or delayed mutual attraction, both members could evolve and grow at a different pace leading to difference in physical/mental level/need at a later stage of marriage.
Marriage too is not a bed of roses. It has its ups and downs. If the couple survives the downs well, they become closer. In fact the more challenges a couple faces early in their married life the stronger team they become (once again, in my opinion).
Staying married means:
• Emotional security – only if the couple is still in love with each other
• Love and mutual respect - key elements. With out love the marriage could collapse at the first obstacle/crisis that comes along
• In many cases it’s simply the lack of viable alternatives or the inability to step out of the daily grind
Don’t agree with the Hindi saying. You’ll find many happy/satisfied singles and couples.
One has to make the most of their situation or take steps to change it. A good decision making process to follow in a job/marriage:
1. Love it
2. (if you don’t love it) Change it
3. (if you can’t love it or change it) Leave it
4. (If you can’t change it or leave it, you better..) Love it
@Admirer This is my blog.. hence my thots.. from my past experiences.. but thanx for your detailed comment.. the mere mention of sitcoms arose from the title song which says - 'love and marriage go together like a horse and carriage' and not the content of it.. I draw my conlusions from my personal and general experiences..
@admirer - also not just emotional security .. its financial security which leads people to stay on.. haha!! as I said probably u had all good experineces.. how many couples have u seen stay on with each other for life without getting married? I mean realistically? they usually disperse cause they dont actually commit to each other.. with marriage comes commitment!!
Best!!!
Marriage.. another man made acceptability-factor-indicator that makes no sense to me.
I mean, 'union' should be in the mind, and not on a piece of paper, no? People ought to stay together because they want to be together, not because the escape route has it's share of complications, or because the proverbial society may point fingers. I don't know... sometimes tolerance is not a virtue but a vice that prevents some people for moving on and gives others an excuse for staying put in their pointless existence.
What a farce
S. G.
Let me clarify a couple of comments/questions:
• By “couples” I meant married couples
• True, financial security is a key factor.
• When I mentioned “viable alternatives”, I meant financial freedom or societal freedom i.e. you stick together because you don’t have viable alter….
I referred to marriage only in my comments and did not assume a couple living unmarried. Also I have not had all great experiences.
M. T. N.
Your rant about marriage and men is interesting. What do you consider a farce: marriage, societal/cultural expectations or helpless individuals who don’t have the emotional/financial liberty to break out of their current situation?
S. G.
Let me clarify a couple of comments/questions:
• By “couples” I meant married couples
• True, financial security is a key factor.
• When I mentioned “viable alternatives”, I meant financial freedom or societal freedom i.e. you stick together because you don’t have viable alter….
I referred to marriage only in my comments and did not assume a couple living unmarried. Also I don’t have all great experiences.
M. T. N.
Your rant about marriage and men is interesting. What do you consider a farce: marriage, societal/cultural expectations or helpless individuals who don’t have the emotional/financial liberty to break out of their current situation?
@Admirer
Your usage of the word rant is… umm.. fascinating(?).
What I consider a farce..hmm.. to me it's a combination of social/cultural mandates and the misplaced belief that a a marriage certificate or the 'branding' around the neck/finger make up the 'holy institution' of marriage. As for the individuals, I couldn't care less. As you sow, so you reap. One's got to deal with it. Existing in a limbo isn't a crime though.. who know what goes on behind the scenes. But self pity is IMHO. But then again, that's just me. Everyone's entitled to their own perspective. IDC
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