No More

How deceptive is life? When he was around how much did I know him? I ask myself that one question innumerous times.. maybe when he said 'this' he actually meant 'something else'.. many things which dint make sense then, does make sense in a different light now.. I have grown over the years - I sure have.. a more matured sense of understanding has creeped its nasty face @ me(why nasty you ask - well!! all this while I dared not think otherwise.. there was a convinience in believing what showed its stark face).. sometimes it make you guilty - I did everything that I possibly could.. I tread countless of those extra miles.. yet.. mostly strayed from normal path.. things just dint fit... I have more time to think from a broader perspective now.. maybe.. or maybe I usually was always right.. who knows.. what another person would have done in my place.. that probably is the beauty of being a human.. every individual deals with their circumstances in their own unique way.. if he was actually around now how would my life be? I always think it wouldnt have been the way it is now.. maybe it would be worse.. maybe not.. how can I know for sure? it will always remain a mystery.. even 2 yrs back I dint have the mental stability to think in a positive light about this one disturbing fact.. its hard to believe you make history as you shift thru your life.. just reminiscing the past here..

Walking on fire or even ice!

One causes burns and other causes freeze burns.. which ones better?
thats what life is mostly about without our innate knowledge.. so many instances all thru your life when you think you made a point.. but it hangs in mid-air.. cause people hardly ever 'listen' - mark my words 'Listen to you'.. the sooner a word comes out of your mouth the so-called listener starts processing it in his/er own perspective.. it could be good, could be bad.. could be a barrage of questions simply to throw you off.. sometimes, by the end of the day when you draw a summary of a simple conversation you are like - what the H***!
For a long time I believed that the things I say is perceived as I perceive it.. but I dont get fooled by that naive fact anymore.. as people grow, with maturity and experience lot of 'other things' adds spice to staright forward answer or a simple conversation.. why I think this way!!! o wow!! where do I even start.. every single person has a selfish motive in reaching out to you.. if they are giving you any importance always know - its for a reason.. sometimes good-will, does get thrown out the window.. its a tough, hard-souled world out there.. face it.. deal with it.. do we have a choice? nah!!!
only your true friends do not fit this criteria
so when you are up and about, do look for signs all around you.. you will be able to judge real soon who your true friends are.. the sooner you let your guards down you get attacked .. and it will hurt you bad..
Thats why for me it doesnt matter if I am walking on fire or ice.. both are equally dangerous - You will never come out unscathed.

Random

My mental schedule says 'go sleep'.. but body doesnt respond to it. Guess sometimes your mind and body dont align the right way. ya!!! its a weekday you would think its normal for you to be in bed by 11:30.. but heck.. am tired.. tired of running around schedule.. wish there was such a time once a week when I could forget about things to do and just relax.. o wo wo!!! what word is that - relax? o come on!!! do we have time for that?? not in my circumstances.. everyday calls for running around the clock.. nah!! am not training for any marathon.. just talking abt my clocked life.. all words in dictionary - like - freedom, independence and the likes.. seem so overrated @ times.. maybe this is the result of stress.. why i have subjected myself to stress.. I am not sure(well!! do I have a choice.. no).. sometimes I am glad I stay busy.. but sometimes I wish I could clock myself relaxing for a wee bit.. nah!! doesnt seem like a possibility anytime in tne near future..

My Passion

Any guesses? yup!!its Sangeet..

Sangeet hai swar Ishwar ki
har swar mein base hain Ram
Ragi jo sunaye ragini
Rogi ko Miley araam..

Proud Mom

She earned it on her own - her name in the Dean's list. Has done that 3 times this year. Last year I hardly knew these lists existed. Maybe she dint like something about 3rd grade. I dint mess with her.. just consistently made sure she did all her work.

I was born and brought up in India. Education system is quiet different from here... and my US school curriculum knowledge is that of my daughter's who is a 4th grader. As I say to all my friends here I am learning alongside my daughter the academics as well as school curricula. Theres a different sense of pride in doing that.

Last week when she got her results she was sad cause she missed the Head As list by 2 points. This is exactly how I wanted it. Not the other way round. I dint want to coax her to get good grades. I wanted it to dawn upon her the happiness of self achievement. Yes I verbally reprimanded her when she got poor marks in anything in fact asked her why she dint get it.. we talked... she explained and I took the help of edHelper.com(gradewise practice exercises suggested by a friend). but I realize she has the potential and she will do her best always and go beyond her when the time is right. Frankly I dint help her with her assignments, projects or HW. She did it on her own. I just made sure she finished her HW.
Now you know why I am the proud mom. She has her shortcomings.. which kid doesnt.. but I am happy with her progress.

Bhaiyya - All Iz Well!

Well!! nice movie with melodrama.. I hear the original story written By Chetan Bhagat - Five Point someone gives altogether a succinct picture. That sometimes is the problem with commercial hindi movies.. importance is attributed more to colorful presentation - song , melodrama, overacting,etc.. acting typecaste, with aamir in lead role and his 2 sidekicks though they are equally good actors.. name brand prevails in Bollywood I would say ;)...
the message from the story is not averse to any person who has had their initial struggle in their career.. I should specify the 'Indian mentality'.. ladka hua to engineer aur ladki huyi to doctor'... trying to get that niche.. trying to get into the best of colleges and so called prestigious universities.. My Regards to all those revered institutions of education.. no offence.. but This life of ours being a RACE is what bothers me most.. how often do you feel you are always running opposite course to what life has actually offered you.. how often do you feel - somethings missing? How often do u feel u r stuck in a rut? it may not always be possible to look back and change course.. but if you believe you can .. and you summon up the courage to do so - who knows where that different journey might take you.. for many of us who have come this far in our journey its like a hiccup.. 'Time is of the essence' - foot locks u, handcuffs or causes a mind freeze.. well!! its a question that will remain with me unless I find an answer myself.. I think I realize the problem but dont know how to fix it or maybe I dont.. who knows..
until then - sing in unison - Bahiyya!! Al iz Well!!

Wake Up SID and Parzania

Films from 2 different genre.. yet related to human relations.
Loved both movies for their singular contents..
Wake Up SID:
-Confusions regarding relationships
-You have a preset idea of your better half/companion/whatever you name it and then along comes SID..
-Most of the time what is yours is right in front of your eyes .. you just fail to see it.
-breaking rules about relationships, career goals.. nothing stands in the way of absolute independence
- we are created as individuals so just living that without any societal bindings is wat adds colour and beauty to life
-mind you there are some limits.. we are civilzed.. but one shouldnt limit ones creativity or soul.
-beautiful acting by both Ranbir Kapoor and Konkona Sen(my fav actress).. so dignified.. so untouched.. so realistic yet a mystery.. so simple yet so profound..

Parzania:
Again human relations crossing barriers of cast, creed, religion.. alls well when the World is smiling.. yet a disaster during a crisis.. all relations get fed to the dogs in the name of religion..
Wont say I am a movie Buff.. but enjoy movies which have something that speaks to my soul. These did. Theres an unknown satisfaction in enjoying good movies or books like these.