No More

How deceptive is life? When he was around how much did I know him? I ask myself that one question innumerous times.. maybe when he said 'this' he actually meant 'something else'.. many things which dint make sense then, does make sense in a different light now.. I have grown over the years - I sure have.. a more matured sense of understanding has creeped its nasty face @ me(why nasty you ask - well!! all this while I dared not think otherwise.. there was a convinience in believing what showed its stark face).. sometimes it make you guilty - I did everything that I possibly could.. I tread countless of those extra miles.. yet.. mostly strayed from normal path.. things just dint fit... I have more time to think from a broader perspective now.. maybe.. or maybe I usually was always right.. who knows.. what another person would have done in my place.. that probably is the beauty of being a human.. every individual deals with their circumstances in their own unique way.. if he was actually around now how would my life be? I always think it wouldnt have been the way it is now.. maybe it would be worse.. maybe not.. how can I know for sure? it will always remain a mystery.. even 2 yrs back I dint have the mental stability to think in a positive light about this one disturbing fact.. its hard to believe you make history as you shift thru your life.. just reminiscing the past here..