Wat am I where am I @ this juncture!!

Sure am glad I still am sane.. it irks me to follow routine and yet I am tied by 'that' most of my life.. were one important factor is health the other end of the see-saw is money.. so much to learn from your own life.. most frustrating part is being tied down by relationships, finance, health,age and your current logistic situation.. excuses!!! helplessness to risk it all..

Durgotsav

wipes out all my pains and sorrows every year ven she pays yet another visit..
the conqueror of Demons.. Ma Durga..

She brings light.. drives darkness away..
She brings joy.. keeps sorrows @ bay..
She brings warmth.. rejuvinates the soul..
She gives strength.. drives cowardice away..

Jai Ma Durga!

Dibilitating Perspective

O wow!!! rampant thots out there.. once you start looking and knowing people's thots it amazes u .. people with personalities are often applauded and mostly criticized for what they believe in - 'You have a voice, you have individuality - o No!! u dont belong'.. I dont understand the cluster mentality and hardly appreciate it.. yet we live in a society and belong... the societal rules are mostly made by us yet.. its hard to digest it at times.. most people lack maturity.. still stuck in a rut of 'what ifs' and 'why nots' like little kids...
for example:
its against my nature to just pick up the phone and talk.. theres hardly time for chit chat.. yet people expect that from me.. is it my fault?? who knows.. email on the other hand is a safe easy way to communicate.. drop a line and also give the other person his free time to reply back(assuring him/er that he/she is in ur thots).. no pressures.. besides sometimes its hard to express urself in few spoken words or just situation makes it tough to get thru to someone just being wordy while speaking.. what then?

anyways.. just things going thru my mind.. also the same situation starts every person off on a completely different thot process.. my experiences have taken me thru different thinking process depending on personality and sometimes one logic beats the other
its so hard to find someone you can trust
the crux of the whole topic is - probably a childhood friend will know you best.. all others dont really care much.. its more about their thots.. their ideas.. their logic and their reasoning and what they did for you... it was never about you right from the start..

sometimes it helps to be a person of very few words... that way you hardly get into any confrontation with anyone.. big question is can an open person like me be that?

you know I believe in 'Chi'.. the negative energy all around me is probably getting to me...

even after jotting this I hardly feel any different from what I felt sometimes back.. life is confusing.. u cannot pinpoint what is right and what is wrong.. its all so subjective!!

Politics bothers me!!

Always heard that politics is bad in every which way you look @ it. Have gotten a chance to see it up close and I already hate it. No wonder I never had an inclination for it. Enter politics, and simple moments of fun in life are gone for good. Trust factor stays @ Bay always. You have to have really weird logic and reasoning to support your own cause most of the times. Its hurtful to many, outrageous most of the time and limitlessly audacious. Inspite of that, we live with it almost everyday - cause politics has infiltrated every walks of our lives.

You dont have to be brave - ALWAYS

Dealing with news of death - the harsh truth that sticks out its fangs no matter what you do to relegate it to painful memories of the past.. its a mental torture for you to just breakdown and cry.. 'u gotto be brave sailor!!' the transient phase between the 'now living' and 'gone tomorrow' rips your heart.. they say 'theres a time for everything to come to an end'.. but what about life? why cant we go about the same enthusiasm about death as we have for life itself? lets face it - its a blatant truth!!! a 'rub it on your face' kinda fact.. which you cant put behind you..

Running out of ideas for gifts

Come someones b'day you are forced to think on an idea for a gift.. I love shopping.. so it goes without saying that I am always on the lookout for unique gifts to suit a person's personality. There are so many ideas in the bday/any occasion gift pool but the easiest and most convinient is a gift card. It gives the person the freedom to buy whatever he or she might need @ any point of time.. and you, my friend, dont have to rack your brains about it :).. But then again as one of my friend rightfully points out - 'gifts should come from your heart.. it should have a touch of your personality too.. if you know a person well you will be well aware of her/his likes and dislike and choose a gift accordingly.' Absolutely a fact !! but dont you get brain freezes sometimes? Besides the pressure sure is on if you set some sort of a standard.. there cant be a showdown :).. in case of kids, and mostly boys, we know what they want.. mostly the latest and greatest electronic games will do the trick - bring a grin of 'YES!!!' to their faces.. but adults are probably a little more trickier to please..

Friendship

How do you define this term?
Some say in friendship u r transparent to your friend - no secrets, utmost honesty, 'a friend in need is a friend indeed', advicing, sharing,etc.. so many phrases to connote what a friend can be?
he/she can be a lover, a consort, a confidante', he/she can even be your nemesis..
so many thots cross my mind ven I think what or who the best of friend can be.. so henceforth ven we off-handedly introduce an acquaintance as a friend, lets do it with some respect, cause theres a soulful feeling attached to calling someone your friend..