Figment of My Imagination

was wiling away my time in cyberspace
felt gr8 to get back in touch with old frnds and keep in touch with newer ones
enroute was stopped short by a breath of fresh air
who barely just rejuvinated the lost engrained feelings
negated my current toughened core
tried to reach deep within to excavate the real me?
who am I
I feel so lost
do I have a purer core somewhere deep down?
I cant even begin to think.. maybe its just her/his illusion..
this fight between the real world and unreal has left me heavily spent upon practicality to romanticism
noone really appreciates the fact that its really tough to slide back and forth between the 2

The Time is Right - NOW

Of late havent been able to get myself to jot down on these virtual pages.. why? well!!! carrying too much of emotional backlog?? maybe!!!
life is so simple... wonder why we make it oh!!! so complicated.. u can just feel the pulse of the person next to you yet cant reach out to help him /her out .. cos of what u might get urself into??
days pass.. months pass.. even years pass before we realize what we have lost.. its a tough call!!!
I know someone suffering from neurodegenerative autoimmune disease.. meaning where the body stops producing the myelin sheath around the nerve endings.. meaning in lay mans terms ur whole body becomes dysfunctional gradually cos u cant feel anything.. consider the plight of the person who knows about this terminal illness.. so far I dont believe theres any cure.. yet I have seen this person who can just move his/her neck and upwards.. cant do anything by himself/herself without assistance.. yet the liveliness from her/his shoulder and face brightens up ur day.. her/his struggle with life every instance forces u to see the brighter side of every odd situation/circumstances.. yes he/she still lives with the disease for 20 odd yrs and breathing life every moment .. maybe she/he finds a greater meaning to life than we with every part of our body functional dont see ... hats off!!!
dont wait for a sunny day.. if u have someones good will @ heart reach out to him/her now.. cos we all are clueless 'if tomorrow comes'

The story about me

How did I get so impatient? Growing up heard Ma mention several times - 'gosh!!! u were a hand full.. running around.. all the time'.. I am sure she had a tough time keeping up with me.. my grandma had given up long ago.. I was always so full of energy.. started talking quiet late.. guess I was busy looking for trouble just being plain naughty.. unending source of 'energy'.. my school friends rightfully named me so.. then again - tube-light.. took me a while to understand what was the topic of discussion(well blame it on my wavering mind).. not any more though.. that maturity came with time.. then suddenly around 10 I turned into the quite,shy girl always with a smile on her face.. steeped in a story book.. the plethora of interest those crispy pages arose in me was unsurmountable.. clubbed in with studies, I was the serious,studious girl that everyone loved.. then came college - once again.. the nice next door girl stamp continued on.. completed higher education and ready to start married life.. continued as the same shy girl.. who wouldnt talk unless she was talked to.. what happened after that changed me into a completely hyper, tank full of energy once again.. in itself is an interesting observation... was I just hiding away in a shell? afraid to get out there and face the world.. too guarded by my guardians.. too protected to convert myself to a go getter? anyways
thats the past.. now its altogether a different story.. if only I could just check the anxiety that arises with it.. I am cool..
keep reading me.. maybe someday someone can explain 'Moi'

My Ma Baba

My strength .. my inspiration.. my source of encouragement.. my energy..
My Dad - very lively.. always smiling.. 1 ounce of sorrows and he scoots out of there.. I cudnt believe ven tragedy hit me he cudnt talk to me for a whole month.. he cudnt look at me eye to eye.. kept running away from me.. 'my daughter is in pain'.. he was clueless how he cud handle that.. always pushed Ma to take care of it.. he is not an escapist.. just cant see anyone in pain.. his principle in life.. be positive and optimistic and life will take care of itself.. everyones a frnd be it a kid or an elderly... very witty... guess I get mine from his..
My Ma - pillar of strength.. multifaceted.. multitalented.. widespread knowledge from A - Z.. always there for me and my sis.. encouraging.. cautioning.. mix and match of barvery, talent, it wud rather be easier for me to count what she doesnt know :).. very perceptive.. a strong shoulder to lean on..

I am Blessed.

Rushing thru life

Of late I get the feeling that I am running out of time.. have I taken up too much and cant handle it?? stressed out maybe.. Lord knows.. am always in a rush to finish this .. then move on to that.. I am indeed running out of time... anxious.. hmmm!!!! seems like everyone else has a long life to live but me... it cud be 'cos I lost 7 prime years of my life doing basically very little.. its hard to think back about those days .. me being a person 'always on the go'.. how cud I just sit back and watch me waste so much time.. boy!!!! I am catching up left and right.. person with relator characteristics will take me to be a heartless person... but they fail to realize my problem - 'am so rushed'.. wish I cud slow down a little at times.. I blabber.. talk in a hurry .. and leave an emotional person hurt.. although that wasnt the intention.. not many people read between the lines to capture the deeper emotions.. maybe some day soon I will get a hold of myself and help me downsize my tempo .. till then - 'gotto go'

Occasional Blogger

Yup!!!! blogging encompasses updating blog every once in a while... and I have not been true to that fact.. ya!!!! u guessed it right .. have been very busy - summers here and the length and breadth of summertime activities have tripled... at times I find myself running from pillar to post... no respite.. but am glad I am busy.. 'cos dont know how people spend weeks in front of the idiot box without being physically active.. u set a good example for your kids by staying productively active... this time of the year is your chance to try out several activities - sports, swimming, the music and performance and u name it.. ven u r tired in a true sense at the end of the day u feel satisfied and sleep like a log.. minimizing your worries.. this is your chance to take small trips during weekends, explore the outdoors.. oh!!! how relaxing and refreshing that feeling is..

have a joyful and fun summer.

back one day - its nothing but yesterday :)

Slogging at work today and thinking wow!!! what was I upto yesterday around this time.. it was a saturday so was at a party.. no doubt!!! sitting here right now with my bespectacled face staring blankly at the computer screen and wishing.. gosh!!! it was yesterday.. I was enjoying my family's company with friends.. relishing the food and listening to good music, recitation, jokes and you name it.. no worries whatsoever.. and now dont have a clue ven I will get back home to my comfy bed and shrug my worries and rest once and for all.. has been a very long weekend.. intertwined with parties and work.. work and play dont mingle.. so true... isnt it? bored!!!!!